embracing a new thing

I can't lie. The last few weeks have been tough for a lot of reasons--which would take hours to share--and I have cried a lot. A few brave and loving souls have been there to share my worst moments with me and for that I am so grateful. What is the meaning of friendship, if not to bear one another's burdens?

But I don't want to write about that. I want to write about what I've learned. I've learned that maybe I expect too much of some people. I've learned that the only way I know how to live is transparently. I've learned that I can't share all of my heart with everyone, but I CAN share it with some people--and it will be embraced, in all its grittiness. And I've learned that the darkness is much easier to bear when I do.

The darkness is there. It competes with the light and joy for control of my heart. But it doesn't win. It will not win. I've been reminded this week--though the wise words of some old souls-- that the Light wins. Love and hope and peace and justice and kindness and mercy win. And even when the shadows threaten to overwhelm me, the work of God will still be revealed in my life.

Yesterday I read these words--and then they appeared on a church billboard across the street from my house. "Behold, I am doing a new thing; it springs up, do you not perceive it?" I think it is the message I need to hear in this season.

And so, I will rejoice. I will rejoice despite my pain--which lingers in the shadows like a scar that won't quite heal. And I will embrace the new thing that God is doing in my heart, even if I don't understand it or can't see it. And, in my own imperfect way, I will seek to--as Heatherlyn sang last night--be the love.